I have this paranoid delusion that someone is going to go through everything I've ever done and try to cancel me for it, but I want to have an outlet to type things out and shout into the ether. I dont think anyone will really care about this blog so I wont bother to really filter my thoughts.

TW for sensitive topics ofc!! this is my personal diary so i might talk about stuff thats a bit heavy.

Genuinely I cannot stand that fucking guy. I don't know how he's gotten away with it, but for some reason he still has fans that are unaware of what he has done. Every so often I'll see somebody online posting about how impressive his art skills are or how he's a "feminist" because he happened to like strong, plus-sized woman more than skinny woman and I can't help but get annoyed. He is a racist, rapist, and perverted asshole. People seriously love to glaze him just because he made Fritz the Cat. I know my source should not be a fucking blog post, but it has a lot of links to back up the claims; specifically Robert Crumb admitting things on his OWN WEBSITE. He took down those blog posts of course but if you use the Wayback Machine (link to archived blog) you can see it clear as day.

I still struggle to understand how anyone even likes him unless they are totally ignorant to his pasts. He's always been controversial, not because he's an outsider, but because he's a sexual pervert, racist and mysoginist. I really wish more people knew about this.

For the longest time on Twitter, I had the name "EVIL RINGO // Uli (Tiny Tims #1 Fan)" and honestly I feel like it was the thing that made me the most recognizable, but now that it's been like 2 years, I am completely pooped out of Tiny Tim. I can't tell if I like him or I like the concept of him. I think I like the concept of him more than his actual self. He's such a tragic character, but I cannot be bothered to even go into explaining him anymore to someone, it just tires me out. I came to the sad decision to ditch that handle because it doesnt resinate with my interests anymore, but idk I think it's become more symbolic of the person I am?? I'm weirdly attatched to it despite being sick of the guy. Like someone who is seperated from their husband but can't get the strength to move on from it, greiving the love they once held. Maybe thats dramatic I know, but I'm a sensitive person! Hell, for the longest time my twitter header was Tiny Tim and the Beatles. I couldn't get myself to change it entirely, as a nod to the legacy, I just covered his face with John Hurt in the new version, because recently I've been really getting into John Hurt. He doesn't give me as much emotional turmoil as Tiny and I think that's good for me.

if you want to see how insane i was about Tiny just look at this part of my strawpage YES I know he's controversial for entirely valid reasons, I ALSO HAVE MIXED FEELINGS about him, thats also why i dont talk much about him anymore. i made this tweet for this exact reason lol

It was super neat to experience such a big moment. I'm not big into America right now, but I do acknowledge this as a big moment and I was happy to experience it. It's a shame the (he who should not be named)s' administration completely scrapped the original plans for 250. It would've been cool to see all the cultures come together. Glad that his fair ground thing failed though, it made for funny headlines lol

there was a rumor that the president was going to go to Philly and I got excited about that thinking about how my country of philadelphia is. They are very passionate, I thought they would drag him through the streets like Mussolini. Shame he didn't show up. Philly could've done one of the funniest things possible but sadly we live in a boring, cruel timeline.

Anyways, talking more personally; I had a fun time hanging out with my boyfriend and my family. I was super tired early in the morning so I just worked on some art projects and launched this part of my website. I felt bad thinking that everything i do is a waste of time and i should be productive with things that actually matter, but my bf reassured me that i should feel proud of what i did and that made me feel better about it. For the rest of the night I hung out outside with my family.

I don't think I ever experienced a thunderstorm on the 4th of July. It was kinda crazy cuz you saw people setting off fireworks as the clouds began rolling in with lightning, as if the clouds were also trying to get in on the firework action like "we can do that too" *KABOOOOMMMM!!!* I recorded it just because it was such a different experience. I know its kinda a meme to record fireworks and never look at them again, but this was different!! The weather really was strange. It felt like the end of the world, like the ending of a movie when the world is ending and people just choose to accept their fate and stay with their family. If I was still on Adderall I totally would've been stuck on the thought of a nuclear bomb hitting us suddenly without explanation. It just didn't feel real. My storage on my phone is totally fucked so I'll probably delete them, but before then I will absolutely archive them to my google drive.

When we went inside, after it began raining, we listened to a Patriotic American/4th of July playlist while eating grilled chicken, hotdogs, and potato salad. I found it kind of funny that so many of the songs put into the playlist were songs that criticized America like Bruce Springsteens' "Born in The U.S.A," Greendays' "American Idiot," and CCRs "Fortunate Son." I guess it could be argued that the most patriotic thing you could do as an American is criticize the government, but I know a lot of people don't listen to the lyrics to Born in The U.S.A sooooo idk maybe theyre just in there because theyre america songs. After we ate we got to try these cheesecake cupcakes and they were sooooo good i felt like i was gonna die of joy.

ohhhhh my fucking god i was doing this shit for like 3 hours fjrgbrgbjfbdbsjfdbfs i hate html so much its such a pain but agghbfhdfhdhfdf i hope its true that using your brain burns calories, i feel like i had to use my brain. omg im so hungry now agggghghghgghghhcdhfdfdhfdhhdbdhbvhdbvd

they make me really sad, i hate having RSD and being around blunt people, it gets so draining. if they dont want to talk about something they say it in the rudest, unclear way that makes you feel like you did something wrong. i self isolate a lot and those kind of interractions make me want to never talk to people. Those kinds of insecure people are always miserable and will always make others miserable. They tell you to shut up and then apologize and justify their rudeness for their traumas. these people never make efforts to be kind. its so so so so very draining. maybe im insecure, but at least i have the sense to use my words thoughtfully.

i hate that i am constantly fawning, i hate taking things too personally, nothing is that deep. i hate having this stupid ass ADHD trauma response.

I wish more people would be aware and empathetic to RSD, I feel like nobody takes it seriously and nobody is aware of how debilitating it can be.

"Omg you people cant do anything" i will blow my head off with a 12-guage in front of you.

Yesterday, I watched the 3 hour long Crime and Punishment (1979) miniseries adaptation from the BBC for the second time this month, it's very good. John Hurt does a great job playing Raskolnikov. I also watched American Psycho and Little Malcolm and His Struggle Against the Eunuchs with my sister, she never saw either of them so getting her reaction to both was fun.

I think Little Malcolm is really underrated which is surprising since it's heavily tied to George Harrison, but I guess it's a side quest kind of thing rather than a main thing. It's heavily relevant and holds up extremely well in modern times, especially with the whole divide that has been going on with men since the beginning of the 2020s. I heard that more gen z men are conservative now than the generations past, which is insane to think about; not to mention the fascistic, heard mentality thats going on a lot more nowadays. Little Malcolm is wonderfully written, they did a great job adapting the screenplay to a movie.

I saw that there was no fanart of it online so I chose to create my own.

I watched it with my sister somewhat blind, only getting into about 20 minutes of the movie, but watching more of it i began to really get conflicted like, is there something to this??????

Idk man, maybe I just like campy, cheap, shit movies, but I really enjoyed watching this stupid movie. It felt like the beginning of an AO3 fanfic where the police cheif had an uber gaydar and wanted to get the two of the closetted gay guys to hook up. I love that it's shot like the texas chainsaw massacre for no reason, i dont think its purposeful but it definitley had a campy horror vibe

hen Kerwin (John Hurts character) finds that Benson (Ryan O'Neals character) was sleeping with Jill (played by Robyn Douglass) despite the fact she is the main suspect AND Benson was going to originally take Kerwin out to get chinese food, but completely ditched that idea when he saw Jill and decided to take her instead. Like dude, Kerwin and Benson were genuinely getting along seemingly romantically too just before Benson saw Jill and completely ditched Kerwin. Both me and my sister noticed that when Kerwin woke up and saw Jill, Jill was wearing one of HIS t-shirts. It's not outright said it's his shirt ofc, but he's the only one who wears pink t-shirts so it's definitley his. One of the biggest things I got out of this movie was the inside joke with my sister saying "someones gotta change" in reference to this moment, we keep saying it whenever. Kerwin gets his revenge though by calling the police cheif; not because he's jealous, no. It's because "our covers in jeapordy because he's bringing girls home" like yeaaaa. anyways yeah its an offensive movie definitley but i enjoyed it + i dont feel like its entirely malicious.

oh how i yearn to one day be someone else. but what is someone else really? sometimes i joke to myself by saying oh how i yearn to be an old fat gay man in the 70s, but i feel like my jokes have some truth behind them. i want to be perceived as androgynous, but also masculine percieving. i want people to mistake me for a man. ive lied about people mistaking me for them as a kid, and i wanted to be assumed to be a man for a long time. as a kid i wanted to be a boy. maybe i still do, but at the same time, i know im never going to acheive what i fully want and it makes me feel distraught. i am too womanly. sometimes i like being a woman but majority of the time i feel its a hinderance to what i truly desire. i identify as a demigirl but i dont know anymore. i tend to describe myself as an alien, that came down to earth, and is in a vaguely womanish disguise. i cant tell if i like myself because im me, or if i like myself because im a woman. i never liked thinking of my gender. i think i mourn who i couldve been; if i was born a man, would i be mourning the person i am now? with who i am now though, i dont think ill ever feel brave enough to ask for help in changing. the perception of my form is something i feel i have to just live with. i will never be the graceful, androgynous man id want to be perceived as. ive thought of coming out to my parents when i was a kid about how i wanted to be a boy, but i was always too anxious about it. i wanted short hair, i wanted boy hair. ofc i got a fuckass bob though lol, i feel thats a canon event for every transmasc kid. i was pretending to be a boy online for over 5+ years. i dont know why it wasnt obvious to me before that i still wanted to be a man. even when im a demigirl i want to be a man, so what am i really? am i only a demigirl for the sake of convienience? do i just go by they/she to keep others comfortable? do i think im not perceptually male enough to warrant people calling me he? why am i so unwilling to tell people i want to be a man? maybe im scared. i dont know. i think theres something so terrifying about being someone you know you couldnt be naturally. i love when people dont know what i look like so they default to me being a man. i love having my stuff read as if im a man. i think thats why i like making funny comics, nobody assumes that a woman is making them. nobody assumes that a woman is the one being funny, as tragic as that is. being funny is the most androgynous, male leaning thing i got going for me. people who dont know me online are constantly assuming im a man. everyone assumes im a man when im anonymous. i need to be seen as one more. i once joked about how i could never watch "I saw the tv glow" in front of my parents because id start sobbing a little too hard, but i was in denial of what that meant. in my heart i think i am transmasc, but i dont think ill ever get to the point im comfortable with people calling me he. not until i blend completely into the default of what a man is expected to be, which i know will never happen. maybe ill get the courage to tell someone about this, maybe my therapist, though i dont know what i could do to make myself ever feel safe telling anyone this. its my biggest secret to the people who are in my life familially. i remember as a kid i was given a list of things i had to circle with a yes, no, or maybe; and i still distinctly remember staring at the question "Do you ever feel like you want to be a boy?" and wondering what would happen if i circled yes and was fearful about if my parents would find out. if i recall correctly, i was in the 3rd grade when i was given that questionaire, the fact i still remember that moment means it must've meant a lot. there was a heavy emotion attatched to that moment enough for it to stick. ive had this in my head for a long time. that question was the first time the world asked me a question i already knew the answer to, and it was the first time i learned i wasn’t safe saying it. i've regretted never circling yes to that question for a long time. sometimes i wonder if things wouldve been different or easier if i did answer truthfully. life wouldve been a lot more convenient if i just let it out sooner.

donald trump has been showing serious signs of mental deterioration, evidence of sundowning, the smell of him, the smell old people have before they die is atrocious; at lindsey grahams funeral, he was falling asleep standing up, that means the atrophy is breaking down and HE HAD A PUPPY PAD. he is sweating like crazy. He also has the same type of bruising the queen had on her hands before she passed. I'm not saying im clairvoyant or anything, but I'm giving it 5 days.

I showed my therapist what I wrote and i had a long conversation about it, fully laying out my thoughts. I want to plan to talk to my parents in therapy. So, I've finally come to terms with the fact im a trans man, but before i make the change that ive felt has been a long time coming, im going to be going abroad for the next 4 months and im struggling with whether or not i should tell my parents before or after. This is because I'm going to be studying abroad in only a about 3 weeks. I visit twice a week now, but i dont know how easy it will be to get both of my parents together to talk. My mom is usually working and my Dad is usually working. I have this feeling that if I dont tell them now, I wont ever. Like I'm not a kid anymore, I dont have much time to explain to them what I've been feeling for years before i leave the nest again. i dont want to be thinking of it for the next 4 months, but i also dont want to hurt them by leaving them with all these questions about who i am and what ive hidden from them for a long time. I really want to come out. i wish i couldve just opened up earlier because then i wouldnt have to worry about how my parents are going to adjust when im not even around. it really really sucks. idk what to do.

i keep looking back and wondering to myself if this is really what i am, i keep trying not to see it but everything leads back to it. I don't want it to be real but it is. i've been using my OCs as a form of escapism. Pascher is basically just me if i was a boy. Sometimes when i talk online, i feel as if he's talking through me. Almost the entirety of my OCs are men that I use as reflections of myself and they go back to even before.

I watched I Saw The TV Glow and it made me think a lot. First: that shit got me crying like i thought it would. Second: im really really terrified of being trans. like the fact its been facing me all my life but i just never had the courage to face it is what kills me. i know. but its not the same. i couldve had so much time to explore this part of me in a safe enviornment, where my parents could learn and understand, but now that im an adult and im almost never home, in college I dont get time to really talk about what I am feeling inside. I’ll be gone from my family for four months and i have this overwhelming feeling eating into me that i have to tell them before i leave. I know I don’t have to do anything I'm not feeling comfortable/safe doing. thats the thing, ive always done the things that are comfortable. ive buried a lot of my feelings for almpst a decade now basically, maybe more because i was afraid of facing it. i think that this will be a huge stress if i keep going not saying anything, so i have to tell them. i have to get support and let them know whats going on in my head beyond surface level like gender is a big part of my life that ive just never told my parents about

if i come out, i think it will make me happy, maybe not immediatly, but sometimes happiness takes time and it takes hard work. this is something really big, but i will be happy.

i keep thinking about quentin crisp and how she said "It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, 'Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.' By then, pigs will be your style" and i think if i dont do this now i wont ever. It needs to be let out. I need to let this out.

not to diss on femboys, but imo the term has such a bad reputation e.g. amazon basics, boykisser memes that even if your outfit is amazing, if you call yourself a femboy, i feel like it devalues your entire style and image.

in my opinion, there needs to be different labels or maybe less of an emphasis on gendering historically fem presenting fashion in general. There's something really dystopian about labeling yourself with such a dehumanizing label, like why would you want to dumb your entire identity down to a porn category? i dont get it, but whatever fuck it bro it's your life.

was looking through deviantart to find John Hurt fanart. Clicked on one of them, looked down below the face....pregnant. Looked at the other posts from this person. TELL ME WHY IT WAS ALL HITLER FANART???????? I looked closer at the John Hurt fanart and realized it said "Inspired from a younger photo of the late, and great, John Hurt. Pregnant and dressed in sleek Schutzstaffel officer's uniform. 😊" So i looked up schutzstaffel fearing the worst and yeah SS Uniform. I'm SO SO SCARED OF THIS PERSON. They have SO MUCH MPREG NAZI STUFF and theyre also a fan of brickleberry????????? They also have a shit ton of fanart of some guy called The Tourettes Guy?? Me and my sister looked him up and we couldn't understand what was so enjoyable about this guy. Don't get me wrong, im ok with edginess for the most part. I'm not someone who doesn't have a sense of humor, but genuinely....this person was so unnerving. i dont understand their mentality. theyve been on deviantart for YEARS and yet their nazi stuff, majority of it has been made within the past 5 years. I genuinely have no idea if i should even show the stuff that i saw but omg i was disturbed.

Craziest part about this is that this isnt the only person i saw this week ALSO like Hitler. I found someone who YUMESHIPS HITLER UNIRONICALLY. like omg these people are genuinely SO SCARY, genuinely HOW fucked up do you have to be to believe that hitler is just "misunderstood"??? scariest people ever.

havent seen my highschool friend in a while. we met up got boba and went to barnes & noble. I ended up getting Dostoyevsky's Crime & Punishment as well as the The Ultimate Guide to Sonic - 35th Anniversary Special. Was going to get more but JEEZ! they are expensive. Just Crime and Punishment alone costed me like $15.99, it wasn't even hard covered, and the Sonic magazine costed like $12.99. I really wanted to get more like some of the Beatles legacy magazines they had, sadly that would've been super expensive and as of right now, I don't have a job. I'll most likely scrapbook or cut out the sonic pages and paste them to my wall at some point. Maybe while I'm in Italy. I'll be going to Italy on August 31st so it's coming up. I wanna try and limit the amount of time i spend on my phone while in Italy. I'll try reading Crime and Punishment while there, instead of looking at my phone. I really REALLY don't like having a phone. It's genuinely such a distraction constantly. So addictive!

It's kinda strange...for some reason the sonic magazine doesnt talk a lot about Sonic CD. It has a little bit but nothing noteworthy. They also don't bring up Knuckles' Chaotix at all. I guess that's technically not a sonic game since it doesn't have sonic?? but idk, they mention sonic underground so why not knuckles' chaotix? lol sometimes i feel like they try to erase that game from memory; either than that its a good magazine- plus it has a free poster inside! i made sure to take out the staples without ripping it. i'll probably hang it up sometime.

I'm excited to try and read Crime and Punishment. I really liked the 1979 tv adaptation they made featuring John Hurt as Rodion Roskolnikov, and that seemed pretty faithful to the story.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I think the world is terrifying, there's something so cosmically horrific to be born into a world, a body, and a brain that will always betray you. I'm afraid all the time and I have been for as long as I can remember. My brain constantly works against my best wishes. I'm terrified of change and yet I'm desperate for something to happen. I need to stop hiding myself, yet the world constantly reminds me of what I am perceivably. I've been raised to feel like a inconvenience so I've learned to never take myself seriously. I'm tired of this world. The only reason I don't die is because I think it'd do more harm than good for other people, and I don't want to be the reason someone has to get counseling. I want to go away thinking I'm a different person. I hate this me. I'm terrified of never knowing my name and being too embarrassed to even think of who that is. When I think of who I want to be I think of a stranger.

Everything feels constantly heavy. I feel like nobody actually wants me to be here. The words I say have a different meaning entirely to what others think. Here is something I don't know how to explain fully.

I always worry that I will be the "person" who will be the one-who-shall-not-be-named in someones life if I say the wrong things in the moment, or do the wrong things enough to inconvenience them. I feel like I'm 12 again. I can't stand up for myself without having to apologize and backtrack. I can never tell someone how they hurt me and how they've triggered me without stepping around their feelings. I want to be heard and yet nobody wants to hear me. They want to see me but they don't like when I speak. I can't be hurting unless I'm pretty, I can't be angry unless I'm liked. People pretend like they want to understand me and they want to make things better, but if I don't fit into their binary they dont want to listen to me.

Genuinely devastated, when I learned she passed away. My mom texted me and I couldn't believe it. For some reason I thought Dolly would be one of those people who's just immortal. Maybe she is and she's just on the moon with Michael Jackson, I dunno. I'm just really sad we lost such a wonderful woman. Nothing hurts more than having a good person pass away. She did so much for the community through the years. It feels as if I lost a relative.

I tweeted this within the hour that I learned about it. I knew she wasn't doing good in October so I tweeted about it. I know I said "this year" but I really do think we are officially in the bad timeline.

I need to start blocking people again because everytime an old rock musician dies people always mention like Paul and Ringo and it always causes me to get paranoid psychosis. Not as bad as it was before, but still bad enough that I have to mute specific words because i get this delusion that i might be responsible for killing them if i think about them enough.

I'm going to be leaving on the 31st, it's getting super close! I need to make a ton of plans and preparation, getting nervous but excited. I think going to Italy will be fun.

It's been 3 days since I arrived in Italy and holy shit it's so hot, it wouldn't be much of an issue except there is NO AC! I love my rooms freezing cold, so this is a big difference for me. Another thing is the toilets here- maybe it's just the one in the apartment I'm in but i swear it takes like 10 minutes for it to finally choose to flush. You have to hold down the button on the wall and it'll slowly just go..........glug........glug..........glug........glug.........glug.....and you're at its mercy on whether or not it chooses to actually go down or not. The only upside to these bathrooms is that they come with a bidet, plus, there is NO MOLD! since all the buildings are built with stone, and no drywall or paper, there's no such thing as mold here! The most you get is mildew but it's easily preventable. That is such a different change for me, back home at my parents house, it's infested with mold (gif related) so I tended to dread taking a bath or shower because of it. Sometimes I'd break out in hives and it was super itchy, but here I don't get any of that!

Being on my own is a very different experience, I really do have to rely on myself to get things done. If I'm hungry, I have to go out and buy my own grocceries, if I have to go do something I have to rely on myself to wake up in time, and I have to advocate for myself a lot more.

My cousin said something really cruel all cuz i woke up late and missed orientation the day after i got to Rome. He asked me "Why weren't you at orientation?" and I replied "slept in by accident" and he said "Ok. Don't let it happen again. Tomorrow is the last day that you can fill out paperwork that is neccessary to have in order to stay in Italy. Also, I can't and won't be a caregiver for you here. You have to take care of these things yourself. There is support available from Temple but I can't give it to you"

.......bitch have i ever relied on you for anything? seriously, he has no tact or empathy. I can't stand the way he talks to me. He's always so mean and acts like he is better than everyone, time and time again he's said stuff that has hurt my feelings to the point I cry and I finally just decided to stand up for myself and cut him off. I dont give a fuuuuuuuuuuuck, he's not gonna ruin my semester in Italy. If you never met him you might read this normally, but this is how he is all the time. He thinks I'm dumb and loves to pretend that he's better than everyone. I hate him. I'm so tired of forgiving him.

Hopefully the semester gets better. I'm so very tired of bullshit.

On the brighter side, I have 6 roommates, and they all seem super nice. I like hanging out with them and going out. Last night I went to the colosseum and we got some good dinner and gelatos, all within walking distance! So far a lot of the walking has been alright, though I get super sweaty easily. Whenever I go out I always end up turning completely pink like a baby mouse and it's so annoying. I don't know how to not be pink and sweaty, I feel like a total dork. Hopefully it lessens overtime, but other than that I'm doing good.

I went to the grocery store, and got eggs, yogurt, corn flakes and bread but I didnt have a basket so I couldn't grab milk, so sadly i didnt get any, but I will get it at some point soon. I also need to get butter so I'll probably get that at some point as well.

I don't know how to start this, I really don't. But if I went through with something, I just want to let people know that it's not their fault. I'm not doing well. I wish I could be better. I really wanted this to work. I know this is an impulsive decision to make for something so temporary, but it's about the bigger picture. I haven't been doing well for a long time. I'm sorry I didn't realize how hard this would be for me to adjust to. I hate being alone. I feel homesick. I should feel excited but I'm terrified and in all honesty every time I miss class and mess up even more, it makes me realize that I'm not prepared to be on my own. There is something fundamentally wrong with me and I'm tired of trying to handle it. I know my parents will be mad at me for doing this. I'm really sorry. I know I'm letting a lot of people down and I'm a selfish person for going through with this, but I can't see an end to it. I don't think I'll ever be a fully functioning person. I really wish I knew how to be one, I really wish it wasn't this hard. I don't think anyone understands how hard it is to be me. I should be happy. I should be enjoying my time in Rome, I should be doing wonderfully, just like how I was doing my freshmen year when I first got to Temple, I'm just not the same person anymore. I really wish I could see myself the way I wanted to be seen in Rome. I wanted to be a hard worker, I wanted to be a good student, I don't know what's wrong with me anymore. I'm so tired of being me. I don't think I'll ever be happy. I wish I could reach out to support at Temple, but I don't even know what it would do for me. What could I even say? All my issues are things that seem temporary. Nothing makes me function anymore. I don't know if anything will fix this. I'm sorry for failing. I wish I could've enjoyed my time in Rome. I'm sorry to everyone, I'm sorry to Jimmy please don't think it's your fault. I'm sorry Anna, I'm sorry Harry, I'm sorry mom and dad. I'm sorry Liz, I'm sorry Jamie, I'm sorry Razz, I'm sorry Danielle. I love everyone.

It's been a really long week for me. Since making my goodbye note, I got sent to an Italian hospital and then the Italian psych ward. My dad flew all the way from America to rescue me and get me out of there. I have a lot of stories from there now but I honestly dont feel the mental energy to talk about them. maybe i will in the future, i had an entire tiny pocket journal that i was writing in while there that has a lot in it. ill probably post that sometime. for now i just want people to know that I am home, back in the U.S and I'm safe. I'll be getting therapy about this.

Getting older has made me notice I'm happy and more contempt with stuff. Never would I have imagined that if I was younger I would find myself enjoying modern Smosh and just working on stuff at my computer. The world is very negative, but I feel happy being open minded. I also find myself larping as being older than i actually am. I love watching old movies and TV dramas, especially ones that are niche. I love watching old 70s made for tv shows. I also like watching old late night interviews and pretending it's modern, things like the Tomorrow Show with Tom Snyder; I love his chemistry with Harlan Ellison.

Lowk miss the guy that I met in the psych ward....ill probably talk about him sometime. felt like i was travelling back in time cuz it felt like the ward hasn't changed since the 60s. Theres literally a smoking room in there. Anyways, rambling haha whatever.

pee

lol

tehe